Lessons From 'Disclaimer'
I recently finished the miniseries Disclaimer and couldn’t help but notice the strong reactions, especially surrounding the theme of misogyny.
Critics have pointed out how the story appears to highlight the male perspective, even in moments that explore the female experience. The focus on these "grey areas" has stirred heated debates, with some viewers expressing frustration over what they perceive as a disproportionate emphasis on male emotions in a world shaped by female sacrifice.
But I’d like to offer a different angle—one that might feel more empowering.
Stay with me here.
Why did we ignore the female voices?
The focus on misogyny and the male perspective, I believe, stems from societal conditioning. We are programmed to center the male narrative, even when it’s not the core of the story.
There were two primary female voices, Catherine's and the Author who held the god perspective of the written novel. However the male's are more hugely discussed and debated. In doing so, we risk overlooking the deeper truths Disclaimer seeks to reveal: the denial of the female truth and the way women are often compelled to reshape the narrative just to find peace.
It’s painful to confront how much we, as women, have historically accepted, endured, and even rewritten to maintain harmony. Disclaimer holds up a mirror to the ways we minimize or reshape our stories to fit into a world that isn’t always willing to acknowledge them.
Sadly, I've done it too.
The things I've Re-Written ( for the worse)
I remember in college, I applied to join an art society led by professors—a space where, supposedly, everyone, regardless of their skill level, was treated as equals with the shared goal of preserving traditional art. I was excited, proud even, but that pride was quickly met with resistance from senior members who didn’t look like me.
It didn’t take long to realize my accomplishments—especially my experience as a college art teacher—were too much for them to accept. So, I diminished them during my interview to make others feel comfortable enough to let me in.
I made myself smaller.
I remember saying, I taught at a small school (it wasn’t).
I just had a handful of kids (over 200, to be specific).
It was a simple curriculum (in reality, I prepared them for an exam critical to their future).
That’s pretty much all I did (in truth, I also gave after-school lessons, taught West Indian and European history, and shaped students' perspectives on art and culture).
I rewrote my truth—shrinking my achievements—just to sit at their table.
That day, I had to be less.
What if we chose ourselves first?
On the Flip side, the miniseries also carries a message of triumph: the potential for growth and liberation when we finally choose to put ourselves first. This shift doesn’t come easily. It requires unlearning years of conditioning and reclaiming the pieces of ourselves that were given away.
In my breakdown of the series, I explored the many layers that Disclaimer weaves into its storytelling. Beneath the surface lies a poignant reminder: we cannot pour from an empty cup. The story pushes us to recognize the value of self-care, mental well-being, and preserving our own truth in a world that often asks too much of us.
This is the message that resonates most deeply with me, and it’s one I hope we can carry forward. By focusing on ourselves—not as an act of selfishness but as a means of survival—we can move toward a healthier, more balanced existence.
The Connection To Oh Undies
At Oh Undies, we believe in the importance of prioritizing self-care.
Our mission is to provide not just comfort but also reminders to nurture ourselves. Because when we feel grounded, loved, and whole, we’re better equipped to navigate the complexities of life and relationships.
Let Disclaimer serve a a call to action to equip ourselves for life's complexities.
Let’s commit to the small, everyday choices that protect our mental health, nurture our self-worth, and help us reclaim our narratives. One day at a time.
That’s what Oh Undies is all about.
